


Offspring of the Fiendish Plan of Dr. Macabre

by cupidsbow



Series: Dr Macabre [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack Fic, M/M, Series:Dr-Macabre, Snark, cupidsbow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-19
Updated: 2008-09-19
Packaged: 2017-10-02 00:11:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupidsbow/pseuds/cupidsbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dr. Macabre exacts his revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Offspring of the Fiendish Plan of Dr. Macabre

**Author's Note:**

> No mpreg was created in the making of this sequel.

[Um. Hi again.

So... it's been bought to my attention that some of you have a problem with the whole lime jello suggestion I made at the end of the story "The Fiendish Plan of Dr. Macabre." Well, see, the thing about that is, and it's probably my fault for not making it clearer. But, um--]

Rodney: "Oh for God's sake! We're going to be here all night at this rate, and I have better things to do!" He turns and glares at the readers. "You're all morons! Did you not _read_ the Rules of Storytime? Because the whole lime jello thing was the author's pathetic attempt to goad a few of you into meta-ing her work. But, clearly, she'd have better luck if she gave a bunch of word processors to wild monkeys when it comes to--"

John: "Mmmmm. Wild monkeys."

Rodney's rant immediately derails, as he turns his glare on John. "What is _with_ your freakish fascination with monkeys!"

John pokes a finger into the mound of lime jello resting in the hollow of his bellybutton, and idly swirls it around. "I don't give a shit about monkeys, actually, but you weren't showing any signs of wrapping it up, and I think my jello is melting." He brings his finger to his mouth and licks it. "I could use some help here, Rodney."

Rodney crosses his arms and sniffs disdainfully. "That's not even hot. Seriously. It's the antithesis of hot. You might as well cover yourself in, I don't know, _sand_! That's how unhot it is. Now if you'd covered yourself in mango! _That's_ what I call food porn." Rodney nods decisively.

John stares at Rodney, finger still in his mouth. A small trickle of melted jello runs down the side of his stomach and into the polarbear-skin rug he's lying on.

A cricket chirps.

John pulls the finger out of his mouth with a loud _pop_. "Let me get this straight. You invented about ten _squillion_ gadgets while we were arch-nemeses. You engineered genetically superior sharks, with exceeding cool _flip-top heads_. You hollowed out a _moon_ and gave it _artifical gravity_. Then, for an encore, you actually invented _immortality_. And in your copious spare time, you come up with new sex acts to please me on a _daily_ basis." John narrows his eyes at Rodney. "And yet you have seriously _never bothered to cure your citrus allergy_?"

Rodney goes bright pink and won't meet John's gaze. "Well..."

John cracks up; the jello on his stomach wobbles dangerously and little melt-runnels spill down his sides in twisty green riverlets, causing a John-shaped stain to grow on the rug.

Rodney: "...I've been busy!"

"_Rod_ney!" says John. He throws a pillow at Rodney's head. "There is _no citrus_ in lime jello! It says so right on the packet: 100% artifically coloured and flavoured! So get your ass over here, before I get bored and invite the readers in to lick stuff this off me."

Rodney: "Oh, please! As though I'd ever let that happen!" He takes a shoe-sized gadget out of his pocket, points it at the quantum-audience threshold and clicks the big red button...  


>   
> ...and he and John get smaller and smaller and then wink out of view.  
> 

  
A tumbleweed blows through the empty space.

[*The author slowly turns to look at her readers. She tries out a smile.*

Whoa! I didn't even know he could _do_ that! Ooops.

*She eyes the thwarted readers...*

\--who are staring back at her with the fury of a thousand suns--

*...and, then, with a turn of speed worthy of a genetically engineered shark, she flees.*]


End file.
